New life
by uinen84
Summary: Edward left her. Bella could not take it anymore. She went to Volterra to find death. She never got what she has wished for. She got much more than that. R&R please. rating for language and possible lemons in the future.
1. I want to die

**So this is my first Bella/Jacob fanfic.I hope thet I will do them justice. Please tell me what you think. I know I haven't updated any of my other stories but I've been suffering with a mild writers block.**

**I will try alternate between different POV's.**

**Enjoy, end review of course.**

**I own nothing, wonderful SM does.**

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The days have passed. I was still a danger magnet. After a near miss with Laurent I couldn't take it any more. I was too scared to take my own life but on the other hand I was already dead, after He left me broken.

I decided to take my college fund money and go to one place where I could find death...

The flight to Italy was long and boring. I was remembering all the times I spent with Charlie. _My dad_. I knew I would hurt him terribly, but by staying I would eventually hurt everyone I loved. I was too dangerous to be around.

I found Volterra with ease. I looked for a big castle. I didn't know where they lived, but a castle would seem fitting for royalty vampires that were Volturi. I was right, there was a Castle. I went to the reception. Pretty human woman was sitting at the desk. Gianna said her name plate.

"How can I help you?" Gianna said to me.

"I'm here to see Aro so he could put me out of my misery," I said and noticed how she stiffened at my words. Obviously as a human I'm not suppose to know about Aro. Gianna looked to the side and only then I noticed cloaked figure standing in the corner. He was huge. I caught the crimson in his eyes. _Bingo_ I thought to myself.

"You, follow me," the voice said and I didn't dare do disobey.

After we passed the lobby we entered the elevator. We were going down. Then he led me through some long corridors until we made to a huge double doors. He opened them without any effort.

"Master?" my escort said to Aro who I recognized from Carlisle's painting.

"Welcome Felix. What are you doing down here? Oh, I can see that you brought us a snack" Aro mused, "but she won't satisfy all of us here." I looked around and noticed that indeed I would not do for seven vampires.

"She knows about us master; she wanted to see you specifically," Felix answered the old vampire.

"Well, well, nobody mortal asks to see us, unless they have a death wish," Aro spoke to me this time.

"That's exactly why I'm here," everyone looked with astonishment at me.

"Wait, don't do this yet father," the other vampire spoke and then he took Aro's hand.

"Very well then Gabriel," Aro spoke to the other one after he released his hand. "What is your name human?" he spoke to me again.

"Isabella but I like to go by Bella." I answered him politely. I had a feeling that my wish will not be easily granted.

"Bella, come to me dear I would like to read you," I raised an eyebrow at him. _Crap, he will find out about the Cullens._

"I can read everything people have thought in their entire life by just touching them..." his hand was soft like silk and even colder than _his_. "Interesting... I think Gabriel you could be right in saving her after all. I cannot read her at all. Imagine what she could do when she is one of us," he trailed. _Shoot, so eternal damnation instead_, I thought wryly.

"Father, let me do it," Gabriel spoke and it was the first time I really noticed him. He was beautiful. Gabriel was about six foot five, had black thick hair which he kept in tidy ponytail. He was more muscular than Ed..., him but not as much as Emmett. He oddly reminded me of my Jacob. His dark crimson eyes held so much depth that one could drawn in them.

"Son, are you sure? She is your singer," what, what does he mean? I must have this question plastered on my face because Gabriel answered me immediately.

"It means that your blood is so sweet that it calls to me making you irresistible. But do not be afraid, I have millennia of practice and you will be safe with me."

"You may take her then. Where will you change her?" Aro asked his son.

"I take her to my room."

"So be it."

"Come on Bella," Gabriel said and I went with him. I felt suddenly at ease with him. Even if he was delivering death I would not be afraid.

It took a while for me to walk to his room. If he was impatient, he never told me so.

"Bella, you know what I am about to do, don't you?" I nodded in understanding. "But before I do this I want to ask you something. You obviously know a lot. You would have never learnt about my father all by yourself so please tell me..." he could see my hesitation. "Do not worry, I can keep a secret, my father can only read what I let him to," and I believed him.

I told Gabriel everything. All my memories I shared with him were his now too. I was at his mercy. By the time I finished I could not see through my tears. Then something happened that I have never expected. Gabriel took me in his arms and held me close. He comforted me until I stopped crying. His large muscular arms reminded me of Jake again, my very best friend. I wondered what he was up to.

Finally my sobs ceased. I wiped my face dry.

"I'm sorry you had to see me like this," I whispered to him, I could not find my voice any more.

He put his finger under my chin and lifted my face up to his and wiped a stray tear with his cold thumb.

"Don't be. I promise you will never have to cry again," he looked me in the eye. "Are you ready?" I nodded. Not trusting my voice. "It will hurt but I will be with you. You will not be alone ever again, understand me?"

"Yes," I breathed. Then Gabriel moved his lips to my neck. He lingered there a moment and I became completely still. He inhaled my scent.

"So sweet," he murmured so quiet that I almost missed it and then I could feel it. He bit into my neck and I could feel him draining my life out of me. When I was on the brink of darkness he pulled out. I could see his bright crimson eyes filled with pain.

"I'm so sorry," he mouthed.

"S-kay," I blurted out. When the fire started spreading from my neck I could feel another stab of pain, this time from my wrists and ankles.

The pain of burning was the worst ever pain I've ever endured. It hurt even more than my broken heart. I don't know how long I was screaming, thrashing and begging for death but after what has seemed like an eternity I could feel the pain receding from my toes and fingers.

"It's not long now my Bella. I'm here, I'm with you, you are not alone," that was Gabriel talking to me all the time. Suddenly my heart took off with frenzy. It was like a steam engine inside my chest. Then the pain got even worse and the fire in my chest got even hotter. After it seamed like an eon I felt no more pain, my heart stuttered once more and there was only silence.

I took my firs deep breath as an immortal. Everything was so much more intense. I opened my eyes and as he promised, Nathan was there with me. He was still holding my hand.

"You stayed..." I whispered. I still did not believe it.

"As I said I would. I will never ever leave your side Bella,"

"Isabella," I corrected him. He gave me a puzzled look. "Bella belonged to Ed-, him and to the past. Today I left my past behind me and I want to be known as Isabella now," _or did I?_

"Isabella, so beautiful..." he said my name like a caress. I looked down and thanked heavens that I could not blush any more.

"Come in," he said towards the door.

"Welcome to our world Isabella," greeted Aro.

"Hello," I simply answered.

"Do you mind if I try to read you again my dear?" Aro asked me.

"Yes, of course," and I gave him my hand. He cocked his head to the side and closed his eyes. After a second or so a small frown appeared on his face.

"Ah, still nothing. Did you get a read on her?" he asked Gabriel.

"No, I think she is a shield and a very powerful one at that."

"How do you know that about me?" I asked Gabriel.

"You see I don't really have one power, my power is all powers and I cannot read you, so you must be a shield. You are blocking me," he said with awe.

"Test Jane's power against her," Aro proposed.

"No!" Gabriel shouted in response.

"Why not, if like you said she is a shield, it won't do any harm," Aro continued.

"Do what you have to do," I said in a small voice. To be honest I had no clue what they meant by Jane's power.

"No, I will never hurt you. Jane can inflict agonizing pain with her mind and I have her power too. It's only illusion, but I will not do it to you," Gabriel explained to me.

"Do it, you have to test me somehow," I said with a brave face but on the inside I was anything but.

"Let Jane do it then," Aro said, "Jane my dearest, come to Gabriel's quarters please!" Aro shouted. With enhanced vampire senses she probably heard him.

After couple of minutes little angelic looking girl appeared in the doorway.

"Did you call me master?" she asked with a small bow.

"Yes Jane. You see, Isabella here is a shield and we would like to test that. We cannot read her so I would like you to have a try," Aro explained it to her. I could see that she would enjoy the torture she was about to inflict on me.

"No," was Gabriel again.

"Please, I will be fine, I promise. Go ahead Jane," I braced myself for the pain. I could see that the little vampire was concentrating hard but the pain never came. Jane let out irritated growl and gave up whatever she was doing.

"Impressive. You were right my son. By the way, you will start your training next week," and with that he and Jane left. I let out a breath I didn't realise I was holding. Gabriel squeezed my hand.

"You are incredible Isabella. You really are powerful," he mused.

"What did I do?" I asked him.

"Do you remember the pain of your transformation?" I nodded and swallowed a mouthful of venom. "That's what I thought. Our little Jane can inflict that very same sensation with her mind. I'm glad you are immune," he said to ma as he brushed a stray hair behind my ear.

"Good. At last I'm good at something. As a human I was tripping on air," we were both laughing. I was laughing for the first time in months.

"Hey, could you tell me what Aro meant by training?" I asked Gabriel.

"Well, first you will be taught how to fight. You know that the Volturi are sort of police force of the vampire world, so you have to know how to eliminate vampires and defend yourself. And second you will have to learn how to use your shield," he began to explain, "if I'm right you would be able to shield more people than just you, but we'll see."

"Will you be there with me?" I asked him, suddenly I didn't know why but I didn't want to be separated from him.

"Of course I will. As the best fighter I probably will be the best teacher you can get. But enough of my talking your throat must be killing you now. Let's go to the throne room, I believe Heidi is due to be back any minute now," he took my hand in his and began leading me out of his room.

I cupped my throat; sure it was burning as hell. Then I stopped as I thought about it. I remember the Cullens and that their diet was different.

"What's wrong?" He asked with concern.

"No, nothing, lets go." Yes, I would leave my past behind. I was not a Cullen; I never was one of them. I belonged to Volturi now and I would live by their standards. It was a natural way of sustenance after all.

When we reached the throne room people were flooding it. They did not realize that they would never see the daylight again. I made myself numb and just gave into my instinct. Gabriel was by my side all the time. After two people I was full and satisfied. Their blood was even better than hot chocolate as I remembered it from my human life.

"Ready to go back?"

"Sure." I said. I felt so dead. I was a living corpse after all. And then it all hit me like a freight train. I just killed two innocent people. I could not take it any more and I screamed at the top of my lungs. All the vampires in the room had a mask of horror on their faces after the whole castle begun shaking and cracks appeared in the walls.

I needed to see Aro and if he would not kill me I would make him do it. And then I remembered him. _I will always love you Edward... And Jake, oh Jake..._ I let my best friend down.

"Isabella?" Aro put his hand on me and turned me around to face him.

"Just the person I wanted to see," I concentrated hard and lifted my shield as I touched Aro's hand. With the lucky chance I succeeded because Aro clearly didn't release my hand too quickly. After a few minutes he let me go and looked me in the eye. I was totally exhausted mentally from so much concentration. Good thing that vampires can't get a stroke. Sure as hell I would burst a vein in my forehead was I still human.

"Very interesting. I can give you what you want," he said with a sadness in his voice. I could not believe I was getting it so easily.

"It will be such a waste, such a terrible waste..."

"Gabriel!!! I believe Isabella here will require your services."

_Edward, I love you. Jake please forgive me._.. And then it was only pain and darkness and then nothingness.

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**Sorry for the cliffie. So what do you think, why Aro is so keen to grant Bella her wish, or is he?**

**Read and review.**


	2. Anchor

**Hello folks. I hope that you are still with me. So there goes chapter two. But to clear some points so nobody will be confused later I would like to say:**

**1****st**** My Volturi aren't such a bad guys after all. Lets stick with Vicky as the main villain;**

**2****nd**** Jacob hasn't seen Bella in his human form after he phased.**

**Oh, and 3****rd****, my Jake is 2 years older that Bella, it just seem better, more real.**

**So there we go again.**

**Read and review.**

**SM ownd Twilight Saga, I own my teddy bear who just turned 24.**

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Bella POV

I woke up in the middle of the forest. Hang on a minute, did I just wake up? Holy crow!!! And then the memories came crashing back at me. After all it was not the first time I've woken up confused.

* * *

_Flashback._

"Very interesting. I can give you what you want," he said with sadness in his voice. I could not believe I was getting it so easily.

"It will be such a waste, such a terrible waste..."

"Gabriel!!! I believe Isabella here will require your services."

_Edward, I love you. Jake please forgive me._.. And then it was only pain and darkness and then nothingness.

And then I felt it, the worst pain imaginable. It was even worse than when I burned to become a vampire. Just like before the pain started to recede from my extremities only to increase in the centre of my chest.

There was something wrong with it; I could hear a sound, like a hummingbird's wings. Wait, it's my own heart. My own heart is beating again, but how is that even possible. Then I opened my eyes only to look into crimson ones, Gabriel's.

"Hello again Isabella," he whispered.

I could see and hear him, but not as clear as I used to not that long ago. I put my hand where my heart was supposed to be, and it was beating again.

"How?.. Am I?.. What's?.." I could not form a coherent question, my head began to swim.

"Yes, you are a human again. How? That is one of my powers, but only if I changed someone myself. You see if I bite vampire I've changed before, they can become human again. The only difference is that you retain some of your supernatural qualities. You will be a bit stronger and faster than your average human, you will still age, but a bit slower. And most of all you are now immune to our venom from now on, except mine of course." Gabriel explained to me and then chuckled, probably at my stupid looking face.

Only then I realized that my mouth was hanging wide open. I quickly snapped it shut.

"But I thought that Aro would put me out of my misery?" I asked confused.

"This is exactly what he has done. You see everyone thinks that we are cold hearted beasts, no pun intended. The truth is, we still know what is right and wrong, and killing you or leaving you immortal would be wrong." Gabriel explained.

"I see, so what do I do now?" I asked Gabriel.

"Well, Aro, Marcus, Caius and I all agreed that you need to return to Forks and live your life. I know that is unlike us to let human go, but is some ways you are one of us, but..." He trailed off lost for words this one time.

"What is it, please, tell me."

"Well, everyone back there thinks that you were kidnapped, so to go with that story we will have to knock you unconscious and rough you up a bit. And for that I am deeply sorry. You will be in no danger from any of us ever." He explained without looking up at me.

I let out a gust of air I didn't realize I was holding.

"That's ok, go ah..." I didn't even finish the sentence when everything went black again.

_End of flashback_.

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Then I tried to sit up and I winced in pain. I quickly looked over myself, there was some blood and I could see some bruises on my arms. My head was pounding from the blow, my side was killing me. I rolled up my blood stained t-shirt. Yep, there was huge purple bruise there, sure thing I had some ribs broken and then my right leg was hurting badly too. I could not walk so I started to pray that someone would find me. The pain was too much so I passed out again.

_11 days earlier_

Jacob POV

"Jake, the phone is ringing, can you get it?" My dad yelled at me from his room.

"Sure, sure. Hello, Black's residence."

_Jacob?_

"Hi Charlie, what's up?"

_**Have you seen Bella, is she with you?**_ Charlie asked a bit worried. It was Friday afternoon.

"Nope, not today, she didn't come over today at all. Why, did something happen?" I asked him, suddenly worrying like a madman.

_**Her school rang, she was never there. Her truck is missing, there is no note. I fear she ran away after that piece of thrash that was Edward.**_ Charlie yelled into the receiver.

I began to shake on the mention of the bloodsucker's name. "Charlie, do you want me to round up some guys from the rez and look for her?" I asked.

_**Sure, thanks Jake, it means a lot.**_

"No problem Charlie."

I didn't even finish speaking when my whole body was quivering. I ran out the door and phased not bothering about my clothes.

_Whoa Jake, what's the rush? Is there a fire or did someone died?_ That was Embry.

_Close enough, Bella is missing._

_Oh._

_Go and get Sam, we need to find her._

_11 days later_.

The past eleven days passed like a blur. Literally everyone was looking for Bella. Charlie was beside himself. To tell the truth, so was I. Bella was now officially entered into the missing person record.

Sam and I decided to double the patrols around Forks and La Push. We, no I was still hoping.

_You think she is still out there?_ I asked the pack, really knowing the answer.

_It's been week and a half..._ it was Embry

_I know._

_There is still no body..._

I suddenly went stiff.

_Jake, what is it?_

_Bloodsuckers._ Then everyone was able to smell it and we followed the trail as fast as we could. It was coming from the same clearing where Bella was last rescued from that dark haired leech.

I was the first to enter the clearing and what I saw made my big wolf body to collapse. I howled half from happiness, half from despair.

There on the forest floor was my Bella. She was still alive, but badly broken, I could smell blood and I feared the worst. She reeked of bloodsuckers.

I phased back to my human form and quickly got dressed.

"Bells honey, please wake up. Please say something, do something..." I sobbed into her hair as I took her in my arms. Soon after I was surrounded by the whole pack.

"Sam she is unconscious but still human I think."

"Yes, I can't smell the venom, though she reeks of leeches. That is strange. Ok, Embry, Quil, phase back and head back to Forks to alert Charlie. Seth, Leah, Colin and Brady you go straight to La Push. Paul and Jared try to find those bloodsuckers. Jake and I will take Bella home." Sam shouted the orders and everyone quickly divided. He put his hand on my shoulder and patted me slightly. "We got her."

"And I will never let her go again. Ok now, let's run to Charlie's."

All the time we were running Bella was unconscious in my arms. Charlie was already waiting on the front porch with the ambulance crew stand by.

"What happened? Where did you find her?" Her dad was shouting questions at us.

"We went to sweep the forest again and Jake spotted her in the clearing. She was already out of it. She is badly hurt, we thing that someone just abandoned her there." Sam explained everything as I was putting Bella on the stretcher. I looked as ambulance crew was loading her inside.

"Charlie, can I come with you to the hospital?" I asked.

"Sure kid, get in the cruiser. Sam, you wanna come? "

"No sir, I should probably let everyone in La Push know that we found her."

Charlie just nodded and we followed the ambulance. The drive was very short and quiet. As I was about to get out of Chief Swan's cruiser, he gripped my wrist and stopped me.

"Thank you, I don't know what I would..." his voice broke at the end.

"That's ok, any time. She is safe now."

When we arrived Bella was still out and was having a full body scan to assess the damage. Charlie and I were sitting in the waiting room.

"Chief Swan?" white haired doctor asked.

"Yes? How is my daughter? Tell me everything please."

"She is still sleeping. She received a massive blow to the head, she has got a concussion but luckily her scull is intact. There are two broken ribs on her right side; also her right leg has got a hairline fracture. But her life isn't in any danger. We are giving her some pain meds through the IV; you can go and see her. She is in room 111," with that he left.

Even bruised and broken she was beautiful. We sat in silence just watching her for a couple of hours.

"Oh," Charlie groaned, "Don't get old Jake," he chuckled almost relaxed, for the first time in almost two weeks. "I need to stretch a little. Wanna some coffee? I'm going to the canteen to pick some."

"Nope, I'm good, thanks."

"I think I stop by Dr Snow again and ask some more about Bells."

"Ok, I'll be here."

When Charlie left I took Bella's small hand into mine. She was so cold. I caressed her cheek with my other hand and she stirred under my warm touch. I looked at the monitor, her heart was speeding up, and she was waking up. Only moments later her eyes fluttered open and she looked at me. Her warm chocolate eyes were so deep that I swear I could see right into her very soul.

Then I was flouting. All that mattered to me before crumbled and ceased to exist. Nothing mattered anymore but her. Bella was the very centre of my universe, she was like a cast iron anchor keeping me there, no, she was like a million of them.

"Jake, you are here," my angel whispered.

* * *

Bella's POV

I could feel pleasant warmth overwhelming my body. I was now able to use my body again. I could hear the machine bleep. I began to fidget and I opened my eyes only to see Jake, my Jacob, sitting next to me and holding my hand.

I looked into his almost black eyes and thanks God I was already lying in bed. The amount of pure love and devotion I saw there was enough to knock me breathless. I only managed to whisper.

"Jake, you are here."

"Of course honey. I will always be," he cupped my face with one of his large hands and I leaned into his touch. "What happened to you?"

_Uh oh_, there goes the question I hoped to avoid because I cannot lie to save my dear life.

"Bella, you're awake!!!" great, I was saved by my dad.

**A/N So??? What do you think??? If anyone wants to help me with this story, you are welcome. Just PM me or something. There are some things I cannot write to save my life, like lemons and some more descriptive stuff to make the story more attractive. Sometimes I'm lost for words as I still try to learn my English.**


	3. Everything falls apart

**Hello again. So there I'm trying to do a thing I've never done before, I'm naming the chapters. It's real hard.**

**There is one thing I've forgot. Alice didn't see Bella going to Italy, because she listened to Edward and didn't look.**

**So I made Jake ****20**** so he already graduated from school and due to his wolf duties he is doing some e-learning. The reason is 16 years old is not mature enough to sound real when he says 'I will love you forever' and what not.**

**I do not own Twilight. SM soes and I just play with the characters.**

* * *

_Bella POV._

"_Bella, you're awake!!!" great, I was saved by my dad._

"Yeah, I am. I'm glad I am." I croaked, I didn't regain my voice yet.

"Me too kid, me too," Charlie gave me a quick peck on the cheek and we both blushed. We were never the ones to be to emotional.

"Hey, do you know how long do I have to stay here?" I managed to mumble through a yawn, "you would think I just woke up, heh?" I chuckled and yawned again.

"Bella kid, you've been through a lot, you are healing." _Yeah, you have no idea dad_. "Dr. Snow said that they want to observe you today since you are awake and if they are happy, I can take you home tomorrow morning."

"Great, home sweet home," as I said that I stole one glance at Jake. He was still staring at me with an expression of a man seeing sun for the first time. I could feel my face heating up.

"There you go, finally you got some colour back," Charlie laughed at me.

"Thanks dad," and I blushed even darker shade of red and started laughing from my embarrassment.

"Charlie, do you wanna some help when she's back home?" It was Jacob this time, "you know you don't really need to ask, right? I mean I'll be happy to help, and Emily as well."

My dad relaxed a bit at the mention of another female. As much as he loved Jake, he treated him like a son; he probably would not appreciate him helping me in the shower. _Urgh,_ I squeezed my eyes shut and blushed fire engine colour again. This time Jake chuckled and cleared his throat, when I looked at him he winked at me. _Oh great_, I think he was thinking what I was just thinking.

"That'll be great. Because with her injuries she will have to be looked after around the clock or so for a few days and I have to be down the station pretty much all the time now. Missing hikers make us busy."

I could not wait to get home. It was already six in the evening so I wouldn't have to wait for too long.

Before nurse came with my evening meds, Jake excused himself saying he wanted to check on Billy. Then I was given some more pain killers through the IV and I went to dreamless sleep, _urgh, how I hate tubes and needles_.

_Jacob POV._

Bella, my Bella was awake. I was still struck speechless. If I wasn't careful, sure enough I would start drooling. _Jeez Jake, pull it together, you supposed to be a grown man_; I lectured myself. Great, now I was arguing with myself.

I could not help it; I was still staring at Bella. She stole one glance at me and blushed wonderful shade of pink under my intense gaze. Charlie only made her even redder by his comments. Oh God, how I loved this woman and if that was possible I loved her more every passing minute.

Ok, that was my cue to say something. "Charlie, do you wanna some help when she's back home?" I stuttered, "You know you don't really need to ask, right? I mean I'll be happy to help, and Emily as well." Yup, time to drop another female to soften up the Dad.

It has worked, I could see Charlie relaxing but Bella became positively red now. _Uh oh_, how I wished I could be the one to help her in the shower. Well one step at a time. I winked at my angel and she buried her face in her hair.

"That'll be great. Because with her injuries she will have to be looked after around the clock or so for few days and I have to be down the station pretty much all the time now. Missing hikers make us busy."

"Ok, now I should probably go home and check on Billy, you now, share the wonderful news." With that I left the hospital room.

I tried to keep human speed as I ran out of Fork's Hospital parking lot. As soon as I reached trees I made sure that nobody can see me and I phased.

_At last Jake, how is Bella?_ That was Sam; genuine concern was evident in his voice.

I replayed everything what has happened in the hospital.

_Oh man, congratulations,_

_Thanks Embry_, and the cheering howls filled the forest.

_I'm happy for you. Bella needs some serious looking after and imprinting should make it easier,_ Sam said again, _speaking of which the Pack was searching that trail for you, but we cam back empty handed._

_Well, almost empty handed. They must have been some serious leeches. We followed them to Seattle. Me and Quil made there just in time to see them entering fancy private jet._

_Thanks Paul. There is one thing I don't understand. Bella's wrists, ankles and throat had many_ _bite marks, yet she is still human, yet her scent is somehow altered. I cannot put my finger on it, but something doesn't add up here,_ I said.

_I guess both of you will have a lot explaining to do to each other when she is better_, Sam answered me.

_I guess you right._

_Oh, by the way, Emily will be happy to help,_ Sam winked at me.

_Bella POV_

I woke up in the morning feeling very sore. I guessed that the pain meds begun to wear out. I looked at the clock on the wall. It was seven in the morning. I was going home today.

"Good morning my dear, I have the one last dose of your pain meds here and after that I will be able to remove your canula and IV." The nurse said when she came into my room.

"That's great I hate tubes," I answered her.

"Oh, your dad phoned the hospital. He will not be able to pick you up. He said that an old family friend, Jacob Black will do that,"

"Oh," was all I was able to say. I was glad that they took me off the monitor last night. My heart skipped a beat on the sound of Jake's name. _What's wrong with me?_ I was still in love with E... him. The hole in my chest ripped itself open again. I had to hold it together. The nurse spotted my reaction.

"Are you ok? The pain meds will work real soon,"

"I'm fine," I whispered. I knew that no amount of pain medication would take that kind of pain away. There was also guilt over what I have done. I knew that no number of "I'm sorry's" would somehow erase it.

I think I must have drift off to sleep because I was shaken awake by a very hot pair of hands.

"Hello sleepy head. It's time to take you home, unless you wanna stay here," it was Jake flashing my favourite grin. My heart skipped another beat and I could swear that he heard that. I blushed, again. I decided to ask about my dad to avert the attention.

"Nope, I'm ready. What happened to Charlie?" I asked.

"There was hit and run accident on the interstate and he is in pursuit of the driver after they got a tip of his whereabouts. I hope you don't mind me picking you up." There was a hint of fear in his voice.

"No Jake. Of course I don't mind. You know I like to spend the time with you." _You are my_ _sun after all_, but I left that thought to myself. "Let's go. I'm sick of this place. Take me home please."

The ride home was short and quiet, but not uncomfortable so.

"Hey Bells, what do you want to eat?" **(Oh, and my Jake can cook. After all he is 20, and is** **looking after his disabled dad.)** Jacob asked me.

"Do you think it is too late for some eggs?"

"Nope Bells, _anything_ for you." And that did it. I was so eager to throw my life away over broken heart. I don't think it would ever love again but that was not enough reason to kill myself. I had so many people who cared about me and I so recklessly hurt them.

The sobs that were shaking my frame now made my ribs hurt like hell. But I would gladly take any pain now if that was the price to pay for my stupidity.

"Hey honey, what's wrong?" Jacob was by my side in a second. He brushed a stray hair behind my ear and the trail of fire he left on my skin felt strangely nice. I just shook my head. I was positively crying now and I wasn't able to speak anyway. I just buried my head in my hands. I couldn't tell Jake anything.

Suddenly I wasn't sitting on the couch but on Jacob's lap. He cradled me like a small child and rocked me in soothing way.

"Shhh, everything's gonna be ok. You can tell me everything. God, I have so much to tell you. If that helps in any way I know about the Cullens." I winced when he said their name. _Wait, what did he mean? _"I won't let them hurt you ever again. I know what they are. Yes Bells, I've known for quite some time now about bloodsuckers." He continued.

"Wait, you know that they are vampires?" He just nodded. "But how? I don't understand."

"That's where my explaining comes into picture." And he told me everything about Quileute people and shape shifters. _Whoa,_ so supernatural wasn't so supernatural after all, it was real. But then everything came crashing back, all the memories again. Jake was werewolf, mortal enemy of the vampires. Although I was a human now, but for a brief moment I was a vampire and I've killed. I took an innocent life and now Jacob would hate me. That caused a new hole being ripped in my chest. This one hurt even more than the first one if that was even possible.

I started crying so much that my body was convulsing and I could not breathe. Jake was beside himself trying to calm me down.

I just tighten my grip around his neck and refused to let go.

"Bells, I'm here and I will never let anything happen to you, you are safe here with me."

I took a deep breath to steady myself and then I decided to spill everything. Now or never was the word.

"Jake I have something to tell you..." I whispered, I could not find my voice.

And I told him everything. I told Jake just how broken Edward has left me. On every mention of him I could feel Jake's hands clenching into fists. I told him about the voices, about the hole and the pain. But there came the hardest part. My trip to Italy...

"So now you know everything..." After that all my fears came true. Jake started to shake and his warm embrace left me. He didn't say a word, just walked out the door. So that was it. I was broken again. My sunshine, my best friend now hated me. I was irreparable now and it was my own fault.

After that everything was a haze. I remembered it from somewhere. Yes, I was a zombie again. I don't know how long it lasted. I ate, slept but not lived. Every night I dreamt of Jake's retreating figure. I haven't seen him and it hurt.

I woke up in the middle of the night again. I knew I needed to do something. I knew what I needed to stay sane. It was either Edward or Jacob so at least one hole would stay closed. I knew now that I could not have Jake, but there was a way to have Edward.

I quickly got dressed and decided to test my new agility and strength by jumping out the window. I landed easily on my feet with a soft thud. I took off running into forest. I quite liked it. I didn't trip once and my senses were better too. I could see much better in the dark. I wondered if I was harder to kill now too. Not that I wanted to die, not now anyway.

It was unusually clear night. I had no idea what time of the year it was, thanks to my second zombie stage, but it was quite warm, so I figured it was summer.

The run to the cliffs, the speed of it was exhilarating. Of course I had nothing on Edward but I could put every Olympic runner to shame, of that I was positive. That strangely made me smile. I was surprised that I still remembered how to do that.

After a little while I reached the cliffs. I was a bit out of breath when I got there but I wasn't tired. I stopped for a few minutes to admire the view and it was truly spectacular. I looked down and the black waters of the ocean looked like a black velvet against the rock face. Water was so quiet like it was inviting me in.

I took few steps back and I was ready to jump but then somebody grabbed my wrist and I could not move an inch.

"Bella, don't..." He whispered in his husky velvety voice.

* * *

**So, who is it? Any guesses?**


	4. Try sleeping with a broken heart

**Hey, don't crucify Jake just yet. He didn't really leave Bella. She is just very unobservant when she is in her zombie stage.**

**Sephenie Meyer is an owner and creator of Twilight. I own my imagination.**

_Jacob POV_

My sweet Bella went to Italy to kill herself. She wanted to kill herself over that filthy bloodsucker that ripped her heart and left her bleeding. I was shaking so much that I had to set Bella on the couch and leave. I didn't want her sharing Emily's fate have I phased anywhere near her.

I walked slowly outside so I would not startle her but then I ran to the forest like my body was on fire. I phased and run even faster to blow some steam of. I had to calm down before I could go back to Bella.

_Hey man, where is the rush, did someone die?_ It was Seth.

_Close enough_, and I replayed my conversation with Bella.

_Oh shit,_ Sam thought in very unlike Alpha manner.

_I know, I thought exactly the same. Could you call Emily and ask her to go to Bella until I will be able to go back to her?_

_Sure, no problem,_ and after that I could feel Sam's consciousness disappearing as he phased back.

_What are you gonna do now?_ It was Embry.

_I don't have exact plan, but I do know that I'm going to love her so much that she will never have to think of those leeches ever again._

_But she was a leech too; she's killed an innocent,_ acid dripping from every word Paul said. Clearly he did not like her, yet. _No, I hate everyone who mixes with the leeches._

_Say a word against her again and you will hop on three legs, pup,_ I used my Beta voice, and Paul whimpered. _Listen everybody. I do not care that she was a leech once and that she killed once. Ordinary people do kill,_ I had to take a breath to steady myself.

_Believe me, she will have to live with this immense guilt to the rest of her life and that will be_ _punishment enough. _She would cut out her arm if that would erase what she has done_._ I could hear silent agreement with me.

_Ok, I'm going to run some more and then I will go back to Bella,_ after that the whole pack phased back giving me some privacy.

After about ah hour I could hear Sam again.

_Jake, quickly, it's Bella,_ he sounded franticly. I reached her house in no time. I phased back and got dressed. There were many people in Charlie's house.

"What has happened?" I almost shouted at Bella's dad.

"I thought you would tell me?" Charlie raised an eyebrow at me.

"No, I had to leave for a while, something important has came up, and... erm I called Emily to come to watch over Bella," I was hoping that Charlie did not notice my stuttering.

"Oh, when Emily got here Bella was in a state. She was catatonic, just like before... Anyway, doctors think it's a post traumatic reaction to her kidnapping. She is calling your name all the time. I think you should go up to her," Charlie instructed me. I had a vague idea what or rather who caused it.

Emily was there with her. As I entered Bella's bedroom Em looked at me with understanding. Sam must have told her everything.

"Hey Jake, everything will be all right. She will heal again, you will be there for her, as always," Emily spoke to me.

"But this time I slashed through her already mangled heart. Who will put her back together now?" I asked with my face in my hands.

"Your love for her will."

"J-jake, Jake, please don't leave me, don't go," it was Bella's faint whisper. She sounded so desperate.

Seeing her like that made my insides twist and turn in agonizing pain. My Bella, my imprint was suffering and I was the cause of it. I truly hated myself for that.

"What have I done...?" I caressed her cheek and she subconsciously leaned into my touch.

Three weeks passed and there was no change in Bella. Charlie, Emily and I were looking after her round the clock. Even Renee managed to come over for a week.

She ate but did not taste her food, she slept, but did not dream, she was sort of conscious but wasn't living and it was killing me inside every time I had to see her suffering because of me.

I was beside myself. I did not phase many times during that time, my pack brothers didn't need to feel the mess that was currently in my mind.

Days passed quickly. I didn't recognize one from another, they just blurred together. It was late June. I was assign to a rare patrol around La Push tonight. Sam said that it was for my own good. To keep me sane. Yeah, right, I snorted mentally. Embry and I were running the perimeter.

_Let's run to the cliffs_, I said to my friend.

_We just came back from there,_ he was clearly not happy about it.

_Stop whining like a little girl, I have a strange feeling and I say we are going to the cliffs._

_Ok, if you insist._

_Yes, I do,_ with that we went. After a while I stiffened. My wolf senses picked something in the dark.

_What is it?_

_Something moves very quickly towards the cliffs,_ I answered Embry.

_Leech?_

_No, it's, I can't believe it..._

_Oh shit man, she is fast. Jake wait!_

I was already running at the full speed. I knew what she wanted to do and I was determined to stop her. I got to the cliffs with seconds to spare. I phased back and nearly was too late when I pulled my shorts on. I grabbed her wrist just as she was getting ready to jump.

"Bella, don't..." I whispered because I was slightly out of breath from running so fast. She turned back to look at me then.

"Jacob? Are you really here?" She asked half dazed.

"What kind of silly question is that? Of course I'm here and I will never let you go," I hugged her tight.

"But when you left and you were shaking, after you know, I thought..." she could not finish because her voice broke and she started crying, crying because of me. I was truly a monster.

"I know what you thought you silly girl," I kissed her forehead, "I'm here now, I've never left you. I'm sorry that I gave you an impression that I did exactly that."

She just leaned into me closer if that was even possible and gradually calmed down.

"You didn't leave me?"

"No, I mean yes at first, but only not to phase on your couch. I should know better and warn you before hand. I was so mad that you wanted to kill yourself over that leech that I wasn't thinking straight."

"All I was thinking about at that moment was not to phase right there." I explained it to her.

"I thought you hated me for what I have done..." Bella whispered ashamed.

"Oh Bells, no. I could have never hate you. Nobody is perfect after all. You are here and you are human and that what is important here," I stroked her face gently, "now let's get you back home before Charlie wakes up and has a heart attack. We don't want him calling for another search party, do we?"

_Bella POV_

"No, we don't," I nuzzled myself closer to Jake. I needed his warmth and as if he was hearing my thoughts he put his arm around my waist. We were walking slowly towards Forks in silence. It was still early but at this pace Charlie was certainly going to wake up before I was safely tucked in.

"You know what? This isn't working," before I had time to ask what he meant, the ground disappeared from beneath my feet and Jacob was carrying me bridal style. He was flying towards my house. I must admit, he was way faster than I was. Even in my improved state I was no match for him. But I would not fall too much behind either.

We were back at my house in no time. When I was finally sitting safely on my bed Jake let himself be angry again, but not out of control. I knew this was coming and that I deserved it.

"Why did you do this? Why did you wanted kill yourself again?" He asked, pain colouring every word.

_What? Oh shit,_ I did it again, hurt people dearest to me. Well, true answer would infuriate him more, of that I was sure.

"I wasn't trying to kill myself Jake," I said with as much confidence as I could muster. Apparently it didn't work. Jacob only looked at me with expression that said, _Yeah, right._

"You won't like it, but when I thought that I lost you," he tried to protest but I just put my hand over his lips, his warm, soft lips. _Stop it Bella, focus. What's wrong with you?_ "You know what happened, but when I finally resurfaced again I decided that if I cannot have you, at least I can have Edward," I only whispered his name but Jake winced like somebody punched him in the gut.

"So you see I was gonna jump to hear his voice again..." my voice broke and I started crying now. When I looked at Jake he was shaking again, pain written all over his face. I had to do something; I could not loose him again. I decided to go for dangerous. After all I was pro at that. I just simply reached my hands up and put them around Jake's neck hugging myself to him. His shaking subsided a little.

"But I don't want to hear his voice any more. After all it's just a voice. He is not here, he left me and I'm pretty messed up because of it. I want you Jacob," I looked at him again now he stopped trembling, "I want my friend who so patiently was putting my shattered self back together, but only if you have me, that is..." I leaned my head on his sculpted chest, right where his heart was.

"I don't want to be your friend..." when he uttered those words my world ended, I started sobbing in the instant, "please let me finish. I love you Bells, no I'm in love with you, but you already know that. I want to be so much more than your friend. Bells please look at me," and I did,

"I'm gonna be whatever you need me to be; only to see you happy again, so no more tears, and jumping of the cliffs unless it's with me, understood?" I only managed to nod. Seconds after I was lost in Jacob's warm embrace. He was rubbing gentle circles on by back and I felt at home in his arms. I felt like I always meant to be there.

_Be happy, you deserve it_, I immediately stiffened at the sound of his velvety voice. I could feel Jake second that motion. I quickly recovered and relaxed in to his embrace. I wanted to freeze this moment. I wanted to stay like that till my last breath. The warm embrace of Jacob's arms made me fell safe, wanted, loved. It made me feel at home.

It was when I thought I should use to sleep with my broken heart again, I was offered a second chance from my twisted fate. Yes my heart was broken again but not for my love, for Edward. How easy was to say his name. The hole was bearable now. I was going to learn how to let him go. I had to mend my heart first. I had to put some effort in it myself, to be strong again because I was broken over so much more. Over my sunshine, over my best friend, my Jacob. Though I knew now that he has never left me...

I was going to learn how to live again, how to breathe again and how to love again. I would not let anyone break me again. I had to learn to believe that I was enough. And I knew I would. Something inside me was telling me that I would pull through and I would not be alone in the process.

There was another promise I made to myself. I would learn how to love Jacob. I would try my damn hardest to accomplish it. He loved me for all this time but I was not able to return those feeling in a way he wanted.

There was one thing I was sure of. I wanted to make Jake happy and that thought itself made me smile.

**A/N OK, so there it is chapter 4. So what do you think about it? Please tell me. (If me English is iffy in places, remember I'm still learning and it's hard to get beta. PTB is still busy at the moment). I appreciate constructive criticism. But most welcome are pleasant reviews, they are like choc chip biscuits, I crave them, lol.**

**As for those who hoped for Edward I have to disappoint you. He will not make an appearance just yet.**

**There was something I stumbled upon while surfing the net. I didn't want Bella instantly jumping into Jacobs pants after he imprinted on her. I want her feel confused and slowly getting over Edward. I read that real imprinting is based on learning and adapting behaviour. So that's why I decided that Bella will learn to love Jake. When she does nothing will stand between them.**

**If you noticed I used here the title of Alicia Keys song **_**Try sleeping with a broken heart.**_** Great record.**

**So read and review, as usual pretty please.**


	5. Death race

**Ok, so there goes chapter 5. I hope you'll like it. You know the drill, read and review afterward. I get a lot of hits but very little reviews. So please, make my day.**

**If you havent already, go and see Valentine's Day and Lovely bones.**

**And I don't own Twilight.**

* * *

_Bella POV_

The next few weeks were like a baby steps for me. Every time I took one step forward I would make three back. It was so frustrating. As much as I wanted to let go of Edward I couldn't. I was stuck. The hole burnt and throbbed every time I thought about _Him_.

At least I had my best friend with me. I knew that Jake wanted to be something more. Sometimes I caught myself wishing I could be more. I caught myself being confused over it and frankly I didn't know what to think. I knew one thing though, he needed someone better then me, someone who was whole.

He was older than me but with him I could have fun. There wasn't any of that formal stiffness when I was around Jacob. I knew that he was better for me, yet why couldn't I just let go of the past?

_You are pathetic Bella Swan._ Great, now I was mentally arguing with myself.

It was a summer holiday now after my graduation. I decided to take a year off to sort my life out. Charlie was a little disappointed but happy at the same time that he would keep me home a bit longer. I decided to work during that year.

"Hello Mrs Newton, I wanted to talk about my job," I said to her shortly after I left the hospital.

"Hi Bella, I know, I understand that you want to quit due to your college," she said with a resignation in her voice. She was the biggest gossip in town but she was also a nice person. Mike must have take after his dad, I mused internally.

"What? No, I wanted to ask If I could keep it for another year actually. I'm taking a year off, so..." I didn't have a chance to finish when she very enthusiasticly embraced me.

"Oh sorry Bella. That is great. I was actually having a constant headache now with Mike leaving for college and having to find a new employee. Of course you can keep it. Come back to us in September, have the summer off my dear. You deserve it," she said to me.

"Thank you Mrs Newton, this means a lot."

Mrs Newton was more than delighted. Mike was off to college so she would need me full time. Not that I needed money. Aro and Gabriel made sure that I had plenty meaning way over six digits. I had a stinking gut feeling that they would top it up from time to time. Funny how I thought they were the bad guys. They just had a job to do like everybody else.

But back to the Newtons I was glad that I was off for now. Mike was taking every shift available before college started. I would have whole summer to myself.

I needed that job later to keep me occupied while I was sorting my life and my feelings out.

I knew I had to change in order to learn how to let go. _He_ would always exist in my heart, but I had to make that presence healthy.

I knew it had nothing to do with my feelings but I decided to start with my car. I loved my old beat up Chevy but no matter how much my favorite mechanic was working on her, the poor thing was coughing and spluttering more and more. It was time to let her retire into automotive heaven. I had no clue about cars but I knew I wanted to do it myself.

I decided to go to the supermarket and purchased a few car magazines. The saleslady was looking at me funny and I grinned at her sheepishly.

I tried to remember all the things that Jake once told me about cars but it was useless. I was flicking mindlessly over the image after image until one car or rather name hold my attention. It was a GMC Denali XT. And I liked the look of it. It was very sexy, _wait did I just say that about a car_? Well it was very good and sporty looking pick up. Jake would be so proud of me.

I wanted to read more bout it so I googled it and I found out that it was some sort of hybrid which meant to be a fuel efficient. So I could do my bit for the environment now since my Chevy smoked like a factory. It was a sport pick up so it would have a good performance too.

My dad knew about my new fat bank account. I couldn't of course tell him all the story so I made up the first thing that came to my mind.

Apparently Carlisle and Esme thought of me as their daughter and they set up for me a generous saving account. Surprisingly Charlie bought my lies.

My dad was working some mad hours lately so he was given additional two days off this week. It was Tuesday the last day of June and my dad's first bonus day off work.

I got up in the morning and decided to make a special breakfast for my dad and myself. I noticed how much weight I have lost.

_Note to myself, I will eat more from now on._

I was busy frying eggs, bacon, mushrooms and bread when my dad descended the stairs. I greeted him with a grin.

"Coffee?" I asked him and burst out laughing at his puzzled expression.

"Yeah, what's so funny Bells?" Charlie asked me.

"Nothing dad, just your face," I plated his breakfast and we ate in comfortable silence. After we finished I set the dishes in the sink and went back to the living room where my dad was reading his newspaper.

"Dad, I know that this is your day off but can I ask you a favour?" I proceeded.

"Sure sweetheart, whatever you want," my dad answered after he folded his paper over his lap.

"You see I want to buy a new car. The poor ole thing is barely alive and it's not fair that Jake has to spend every waking hour under my truck. It's time to let it go and rest in peace," I explained.

"That's great idea Bells, did you find a car yet?" my dad was very eager now.

"Yes and I wanted you to take me to Seattle today to pick it up. It's a new GMC Denali XT, I will show you," and I grabbed the magazine I got the other day.

"Whoa," my dad whistled, "nice one Bells. I don't think I could pick a better one. Sure thing, let me get change and we'll get going," my dad got up from his chair.

"Thank you, thank you, I will prepare us some sandwiches for the road. After we get my car we can stop somewhere and eat a lunch," I hugged my dad. He blushed and grunted something that sounded 'any time Bells' but I couldn't be sure. I answered with faint tomato shade of my own. I guess I didn't loose it completely after all.

The ride to Seattle was long but very pleasant. We chattered about nothing in particular and laughed all the way. How I loved Charlie. How could I be so selfish to hurt him like that?

"Hey Bells are you all right?" my dad asked with concern in his eyes.

"Yep, I guess I was daydreaming,"

"Excited about a new car?"

"Yes," and I was. Funny how people can change. I felt lighter already.

After some minor driving aimlessly around Seattle we've finally found the GMC dealer. When I saw the car on display I momentarily fell in love with it. Me, not so vertically challenged any more, plain Bella Swan was actually turning into a car person. I would not call myself a petrol head just yet. Jake would be so proud of me none the less. I have chosen the dark silver one and proceeded to pay. My slick black and silver credit card impressed a dealer. If he was skeptic about me before the sight of (virtual) money took all the doubt away.

"Did you want to take it for a test drive around out track first?" the man asked.

"Hell yeah!" I hollered and my dad and the man laughed at my enthusiasm. I put the key into ignition and turned it. I expected it to roar like my old beast but instead I was greeted by a steady purr. I bet I could sneak up Jake's driveway now.

I put the truck in gear and pressed the accelerator. The car leaped forward at the slightest of touch. The ride was amazing. This car was fast and powerful. I was grinning like a fool but I didn't care.

"This baby is a keeper," I told my dad.

"I'm glad you like it. Let's go and get lunch. We have to ride back soon, I want to catch the game with Billy, oh and none of that kind of driving on the road, young lady,"

"Sure thing dad," he was Chief Swan for a moment.

The ride home went even quicker than before. I was so excited I was bouncing up and down in my seat while I was driving.

When we arrived home late in the afternoon I started to get thing together to cook a dinner.

"What are you doing Bells? You are not cooking tonight. I will call for the pizza. We are chilling tonight. Go to La Push, I can see that you are itching to show off your new purchase," my dad chuckled.

"Dad, you are the best," I flashed him a grin and bolted out the door. I started my new truck and headed a familiar road to my best friend. I haven't seen Jake since the day before yesterday and  
I didn't want to go without him any longer. I felt much calmer the closer I got to La Push. It was like something was pulling me in that direction. _Strange_.

As I expected I arrived at Black's residence unannounced. I idled in my new car for a moment but  
I couldn't help to feel a little smug. I sound the horn few times and about five minutes later very sleepy looking Jacob was standing on his porch in nothing else but a pair of midnight blue sweats. They were hanging dangerously low on his waist. The delicious V was visible in all it's glory.

_Mmmm,_ _yummy._

_**Shut up, he is your friend.**_

_But a very gorgeous friend._

_**Whatever,**_ I mentally rolled eyes st myself._**Great, I'm officially mad**_**.**

I stopped my internal battle to look at Jake again. His eyes were bulging and I swear he will have a mark on his chin tomorrow. It dropped on the ground with a loud bang. I couldn't help the shit eating grin plastered on my face.

"So, what do you think? Do you like my new baby?" I asked shyly, fluttering my eye lashes at him.

"Are you kidding me Bells? I love it, but what has brought it on? I thought you would fight tooth and nail to keep the old beast," he asked amused.

"I decided it was cruel to keep her going. It was not fair for you to keep working on my Chevy all the time. I'm sure there are other, better ways for us to hang out," I answered and I swear he said something like 'you bet there are', but I couldn't be sure even with my better hearing.

"Just wait till all the boys will see it. Actually Bells they will be here later to watch some movies, do you think you can stay?" hope was written all over his face when he asked.

"Sure, let me tell Charlie," I got my cell phone and informed my dad. As to be expected he was more that happy to oblige.

_Stay the night it the film finishes late. I don't wanna you to drive after our Seattle trip. I'm sure that boys will be plenty intoxicated to drive you home. Have fun,_

"I will, bye dad, love you."

_Love you too sweetheart._

"It's done, you are stuck with me," Jake couldn't contain his happiness. I was happy too.

"I wouldn't have it any other way," he gave me one of his signature bear hugs, but something about it was different. I couldn't quite put my finger on it, but in his arms I felt safe, loved and cherished. I've never felt like that in _Ed.. His_ arms. At a sudden thought about my ex I stiffened. Jake took it as a cue to let me go but I quickly banished all morbid thoughts and hugged myself closer to Jake. _My_ _Jake._ He relaxed after a few moments. I could hear him taking a deep breath, like he was memorizing my scent.

"So Bells," Jacob finally let go of me and I immediately was missing the warmth of his body close to mine, "are you gonna take me for a ride?" he said with a twinkle in his eye. Surely what I done next surprised him even more.

_How I love this man._ At those thoughts my stomach erupted with butterflies. I quickly tossed him my keys before my brain had any chance to register my declaration.

I knew I loved him, he was my best friend, but was it something more than that? It surely felt like it and surprisingly I loved the feeling it was giving me.

I could not help the stunned expression on Jacob's face and I burst out laughing.

"What, you are the only man beside my dad that I can trust my baby with," _and my heart_, I added mentally. He quickly grinned like Cheshire Cat flashing his beautiful pearly whites. Seriously with that one action I made a Christmas morning for him all over again.

"Bella, you are the best, you know that right?"

"Sure, sure, just drive already," I laughed at him still.

I've never seen him entering a vehicle faster that he did now. That earned him another fit of giggles from me.

"What, I might be twenty one, but that doesn't mean I cannot get excited," he retorted with an eye roll.

"That is an understatement," I muttered but he heard me, I just stuck my tongue at him. That got him laughing for a change. I didn't realize how I loved the sound of it.

"I think we will go and get guys with your car if you don't mind," Jake asked me.

"Sure, that's fine by me. I have sudden desire to show off my baby as much as I can," I winked at him and smiled sheepishly.

"Let's go then," with that he started the engine. It came to life with that smooth purr, I knew it will take some getting use to. We were on the way to Embry's when several whistles erupted from the side of the road. The whole gang was on his front porch and admiring the approaching car.  
I couldn't help to feel smug about it. When we stopped Jake hopped from the car and greeted the guys, I stayed inside and took the driver's seat now.

"Hey Jake, you didn't tell us that you've changed the ride?" Embry shouted.

"That beauty belongs to Bella,"

"And she let you drive it?" Paul asked stunned and I could see that he was salivating to have his go too.

"Sorry boys, only Jake is aloud to drive my new car," I answered before any of them could ask. Jacob was sporting a very smug smirk now.

"Figures," Quil muttered and Jake gave him a very hard warning glance. I wonder what that was about. I decided to let it go for now. I wanted to have fun.

"I thought I will give you a ride to Jake's, to save your little legs, what do you think?"  
My little remark didn't go unnoticed, they answered with some disapproving snorts but agreed anyway.

"Ok, so my car only take five in the cab, sorry," I apologized in advance.

"Don't worry Bella, Quil, Paul and I will hop on the truck bed," Embry answered me.

That left Jake, Sam, Leah, Seth and me in the cab. Colin and Brady were patrolling tonight.

I was going to drive this time.

I had a rather strong desire to test my truck's speed limit again and quiet roads of the Rez seemed to be perfect. _La Push, here I come_, and with a sly smirk I started the engine again.

"Ready?!" I shouted for the guys at the back. Someone knocked the back window to let me know that everyone was in. I pressed the gas pedal hard and we were off in the cloud of dust. My new senses and better coordination were an added bonus to the equation. When I approached Black's house I made a perfect U-turn using my hand brake and parked, skilfully I may add, behind Billy's truck. I was still grinning when I looked at stunned expressions of my friend's beside me.

"What was that?" Jacob managed to choke.

"Was I that bad?" I pouted, I knew I wasn't but I wanted to tease him a little.

"That was some kick ass driving there Bella," Seth answered me instead when he recovered from the shock.

"Yeah," Jake agreed and went to his house.

"I didn't know you had it in you girl," Leah winked at me and hopped out of the car. Now I was the one stunned. I honestly thought she hated me. Maybe she wasn't all that hostile after all.

I just shook my head and and got out of the car myself. Only then I noticed that Quil, Embry and Paul were still in the truck bed. What I had witnessed had me in hysterics. I doubled over and fell on the ground clutching my stomach. I had a hard time breathing through laughing so much.

Those big boys, Protectors of La Push fighting vampires were scared of woman driving. All of them were having a tight grip on the side of the truck and their eyes were as big as saurcers. My laughter seemed to snap them out of it and Jake came out from the house to check what took us so long. When he spotted me on the ground he quickly helped me up. The boys managed to leave my truck and made their way to Black's house. I really tried to keep a straight face, but when Paul passed me I could not hold it any longer. He turned around and tried to say something but one look from Jake stopped him from doing so, instead his eyes shot me a 'shut up Bella'. I lifted my palms up in surrender.

"Don't worry Paul, I won't say anything," I snickered again.

"About what?" Jake was suddenly curious.

I pretended to zip my lips ant threw the imaginary key behind me.

"Ok," he eyed me carefully but said nothing else. The wolf would be out of the bag when they phase anyway, though I'm sure they will try hard not to think about it.

We went inside. Leah was already making some popcorn. Seth was getting a cooler full of beers and sodas. There were lots of chips too.

"Hey, pizza will be here in a minute," he said and as on cue there was a knock on the door and two delivery boys brought fifteen large pizzas. They had to use a car instead an usual moped. I bet they were making a fortune on Quileute pack.

"So what are we watching?" I asked. Jake seemed to be a little nervous.

"Well since we planned it to be a pack evening we've got a _**Death race**_, is that all right?" he answered me. At the mention of the title I had another laughing fit, I just could not help myself. All three wolves shot dagger at me again. If looks could kill...

"I'm sorry, the film is perfect" I said to Jake as I wiped the tears from my eyes, then I turned to the terrified trio on the sofa, "you loved every minute of it and you know it. And yes, it is funny,"  
I could see the corners of Paul's mouth twitch and soon enough he was laughing with me followed by Embry and Quil.

"Will someone tell me what is going on?" Jacob asked us again.

"Nope," I answered him as I snuggled close to him. Yep it was definitely a great day. I knew that tomorrow would be even better.

After the end credits rolled on the screen I was half asleep across Jake's lap when I heard someone shouting my name.

"Bella, you know, you were better than that,"

"I know I was," I winked at Quil and we high fived.

I didn't remember much after that.

* * *

**A/N So, tell me what you think.**

**I want to clear a few things.**

**I am not a fan of a random imprinting. All the stuff with a strangers and two year olds being imprinted on is seriously creepy and takes your choice away. So I will probably make Claire a lot older.**

**I do believe in imprinting on someone you knew and loved already.**

**Bella does not know about imprinting on her, because Jake want's her to get over Eddie boy and fell in love with him, not because of imprint. He loves her too much to take that choice away from her.**

**I want to show Bella's journey to rediscover herself. The fragile, shy, weak, shopping hating Bella is annoying the crap out of me. Don't worry I will not transform her into Alice, but I will clear her from unnecessary phobias. I hope that my Bella will have a back bone.**

**As you probably noticed, my Volturi are not a bad guys. Why should they? There a plenty of stories out there that make them so. In here they are a necessary force.**

**I don't know if I bring the Cullen's back yet but there will be some serious drama towards the end, possible life loss and all that stuff.**

**So please leave me some love. By the way, the film **_**Death race**_** is a real kick ass. Jason Statham is something too look at. Check it out.**

**And the pic to the car will be on my profile. I just googled GMC the other day and Denali was on the first page. I thought I could use it. It is a nice car too.**

**Ok, I'm shutting up with that awfully long authors note.**


	6. I've never seen that one coming

**Ok, there you go. Please tell me what you think.**

**Disclaimer: All the right go to SM, I just play with her toys.**

* * *

I woke up in the morning to the sunshine coming through my window. I smiled at the thought that the weather was a mirror to how I felt today. I stretched in bed and replayed the events of yesterday in my head. When I remembered the three shit scared faces of the wolves I burst into giggles again. I looked at the clock and it was 9:07.

"All right, time to get up," I said to myself. Oh boy I was really loosing it, and I laughed again. Then I stopped. It all hit me. I was actually laughing. I was not over-thinking and wallowing in despair. Sure, the hole was still as raw as anything, but I was laughing. I touched my face trying to memorize the smile that was there and it felt good. Very good.

I made my way to the bathroom and took a long hot shower then I put a moisturizer all over my skin.

I went back to my room and stood in my towel in front of my closet. Then the misery hit me again.  
I actually did not own that many clothes and the ones that were there... _Ok, no comment on that one_. I scratched my head and decided on a pair of red Hawaiian print shorts, that came just below my knee and a tight fitting white top. Sporty but feminine enough at the same time.

I made my way downstairs to have some breakfast. Charlie already left for work. His second bonus day off was on Friday, so him, Harry and Billy planned a long fishing trip. Male bonding time was very peculiar.

I groaned again. I really needed to go shopping. When I thought how scared I used to be, how ridiculous it sounded now.

I was deep in thoughts over my cereal when I heard somebody knocking at the door.

"Coming!" I shouted and opened the door to my visitor. When I looked who it was I had to do  
a double take. None other than Leah Clearwater was standing on my doorstep. I probably looked like I was the ghost. Sure I was as pale as one now.

"May I come in?" she asked without her bitchiness. _Who are you and what have you done to Leah?_

"S-sure?" it sounded like a question. She sigh loudly and spoke to me again.

"Hey, I won't bite. I just want to talk, ok?" she said calmly.

"Come on in," I managed in a slightly stronger voice.

"Ok Bella, I will get straight to the point and I won't sugar coat anything, ok?" she started.

"Go ahead," I had a funny feeling that I would come out of that alive. Hmmm.

"So you know me, my story, my life. I know I am a bitch and you know I don't like you or at least I didn't in the past. At one point I even hated you for the bl- _them_," I winced slightly but let her continue otherwise.

"Then I realized something. I've seen what has happened to you. I hated the sight of you in Sam's mind. It haunted me ever since. And when I saw you yesterday I realized something. It hit me that you and I are much more the same. We both know the pain of the heartache," her voice broke and  
I looked up at her. Leah was crying. I have done the first thing that came to my mind and hugged her gently.

To my surprise she melted into my embrace and let me gently rock her. I didn't realize I was silently crying too. When she calmed down enough Leah continued.

"I always ridiculed you for how you were handling it but I realized that I wasn't any different. Sure  
I didn't curl up in a ball but I was a bitch and a nasty one at that. What difference does it make, huh? I would lash out at anyone for no reason and for something that nobody could change."

"When I saw you yesterday trying to heal, trying to really live again, something broke inside of me. I am tired Bella," she took my face in her hands now, forcing me to look at her, "I am tired of who  
I am, because it's not me. I built those walls around me to defend myself. I build them to hide my fragile self and protect it from hurting. But as a result I was hurting even more. I was clinging to that pain. I was hurting everybody else as a result."

"I know it is gonna sound corny but I wanna be your friend. I really do. I want you to know me and I want to get to know you. I think we would make an excellent pair and maybe we could help heal each other," I looked at her dumbstruck. I bet I caught a fly or two. Leah misunderstood my silence.

"All right I understand, I will go now," she stood up.

"No!" I shouted, "you took me by surprise, that's all. Please sit down," I was clinging to her arm, "I-I need a friend," I whispered that part, _other than Jake,_ I added mentally.

We sat in silence for a moment after that.

"Hey I fully realize that I was a mess and a complete moron. I was miserable. Sure I had a reason but it wasn't a reason enough to act the way I did," I begun, "and my little stunt with the Volturi? Well I'm grateful that they were a decent kind of bad guys."

"I've seen your pain Leah and it hurt me, because I know that pain. You know what? I knew you would come around. Call me crazy, but I knew. And I am glad," I squeezed her hand for reassurance, "I know we will make great friends. I am honored that you are letting me in. I need some girl time too to break my walls apart. Do shopping sound good for you for a starters?" I asked at the end.

Leah blinked at me in astonishment.

"Sure, when do you want to go?" she asked.

"How now works for you?"

"Perfect."

"Let me change and we go," I run upstairs taking two steps at the time. I put on a pair of black skinny jeans, a long gray jumper with a leopard face print Alice once gave to me and I throw a pair of brown mid calf boots. It was summer time in Forks but it was a chilly day. I didn't need a jacket though. I made sure to put my credit card and purse in the bag. I twisted my hair in a messy bun and bounced down the stairs.

"Ready!" I shouted.

"If I didn't know you better I would say you were excited to to go shopping with me," Leah said with the smirk. Her voice was much kinder already when she let her guard down. I stuck my tongue at her, "real mature Bella," she rolled her eyes and me and giggled.

Leah Clearwater just giggled. Perhaps she wasn't a hopeless case just like me.

"Race ya!" I shouted and bolted for the door. I knew my speed left her jaw hanging. Well I wasn't  
a match for her but even Mr Bolt's world record was a crawl pace to me now.

"That was fast. How-" I cut her mid word.

"Hop on and I will tell you on the way. Did you lock the door?" I asked.

"Yep and the key is hidden under the loose brick, as always." Leah rolled her eyes again.  
I wondered how she knew that for a second there. No secrets in the pack, right.

"So are you ready for the story of my life? The ride to Port Angeles should be enough," and  
I started the tale.

I've told her everything. I began from my first day at Forks High. I could see her hand bailing into fist every time I mentioned the Cullens.

"I understand that they are your enemies but they are people as well. Without them I would be  
a rotting corpse by now,"

"What do you mean?" she asked me with an alarm in her voice. I guess that Jake kept that one to himself after all, I wondered...

_No, Bella don't go there, stupid_.

What, he is one hot piece of a male specimen.

_But he is your friend._

Oh shut up.

_No._

Admit it, you are attracted to him.

I shook my head. Those internal arguments were annoying.

"Ok, so..." and I continued about the trip to Phoenix. She growled when I showed her my scar.

"I know what you want to ask. The question is all over your face. Edward suck the venom out."

When we parked at the biggest mall in Port Angeles I just about finished the story. I could tell that Leah was impressed at my slight improvements after coming back to the world of leaving.

"Remind me to kiss that Aro person thank you for what he did. I'm glad you are more durable. Protecting you will be so much easier now," we grinned at that. Victoria was still somewhere there still.

"So what do you say we hit the mall first and then we grab some food?"

"Sounds good to me," Leah replied shyly.

"Erm, Leah?" I began.

"Yeah, what's the matter Bella?" she asked me.

"Well I always had that funny fear of shopping and I'm a total fashion disaster. I don't aim to be  
a super model overnight but I would appreciate a little help I really want to leave the old me behind." She laced her arm with mine and winked at me.

"Hey, no problem Bella. Like I told you, we can help each other out. Need some fashion tips? Hell yeah, I'm up for it. I want to be able to be your friend and to do a normal girl stuff. Maybe I can get close to Emily again," her face clouded over for a moment there, "So a retail therapy it is then," she said and a shit eating grin reappeared on her face, I replied with one of my own.

"Oh, I nearly forgot. Everything is on me."

"As you wish." We both giggled at that.

With the amount of shopping we did, Leah and I had to make a several trips to deposit our bags in the car. Back seats were absolutely covered. I was so surprised that I liked her choice of fashion. Never in a million years I thought I could look good in a pair of leather like leggins, stilletos and and a tight fitting long top. Alice would be so proud...

To my surprise I really enjoyed the trip to Victoria's Secret. Leah convinced me that grandmas panties are for grandmas only. She even managed to get me try on all this stuff. I blushed all the time in that store.

"You know, there should be a federal law against wearing something like that at your age?" she said, referring to my plain cotton underwear.

"What, why? You cannot see it anyway, most of the time," I replied.

"It doesn't matter. It is important how you feel. If you wear sexy underwear, you feel sexy and ultimately you are sexy. Believe me, it's important," she said with a knowing look. I wondered what that was about.

_I bet Jake would love to see my new purchases, I could even put up a show for him._

Shut up you dirty bitch.

_What he is a man and men like things like that or lack thereof._

Don't even go there.

_You are no fun._

I tried to shook my head. Why am I having this thoughts? Jacob is _only_ my friend. _Is he?_

"Earth to Bella." Leah was waving her hand in front of my face now.

"Huh? Oh sorry, I guess I was daydreaming," I stuttered.

"And what would it be..." she tapped her chin, "that made you a nice shade of pink." She had the same look again.

I could not hold it any longer.

"Leah you know something, please tell me," I begged her.

"Who, me?" she asked exaggerating the action with the palm to her heart, "I do not know what you are talking about Bella," she replied and put all the innocence in her face. I narrowed my eyes at her.

"All right, I will find out sooner or later." I hoped it would be sooner before I would explode from curiosity. I could hear her say _'sure you will'_ under her breath. I was thanking my better hearing at the moment.

"I've heard that." Leah snickered and I rolled my eyes.

After two and a half hours on our feet we finally took our last load into my GMC. We sat down in the truck bed for a few minutes.

"Wow, that was something. The best retail therapy in my whole life, and I didn't spend a dollar," Leah was sporting a happy smile.

"Me neither," and we burst out laughing, "do you know how much we actually spend today?"  
I asked her.

"Nope," she popped the 'p', "I have no idea," she finished.

"Well my dear, it is exactly 27,113 $," I replied.

"Holy cow!"

"Uh huh."

We were silent for a moment after that, then our stomachs growled together.

"You would think that you keep an animal in there Leah, no pun intended," I managed to choke out between the giggles.

"It sure feels like it, but hey, yours was almost as loud as mine." She pushed me playfully.

"Do you like Chinese?" I asked.

"Duh!" We laughed all the way back to the mall.

We found a really nice Chinese buffet style place. Basically you paid 25$ and you eat as much as you want, which in Leah's case is a shit load of food. She could put sumo wrestler to shame with the amount of food she consumed. But you have to feed the animal I suppose.

I must admit that my appetite was slightly bigger after my double transformation. I guessed that the venom in my veins was responsible for that. My body was using more energy on this extra stuff  
I was capable off nowadays.

The ride home was very smooth. This time Leah was doing all the talking. She told me more about her life and the reasons she came to me. I could tell that with every passing minute we were more at ease with each other. We were not best friends joined at the hip yet but I was certain that we were heading in a right direction.

Leah and I had an understanding of each other like no other, I knew we could heal together and learn how to live.

Though I had Jake, I knew I needed a girl in my life too.

Don't get me wrong, I have few friends in school, Angela especially, but I could not tell her much about my problems. Not if I wanted to be honest at least. With Leah I could have a girl time without watching my big mouth.

I could always go to Emily or Kim as well, but Leah and I shared something they would never understand, a heartache that nearly killed us both. Emotionally at least.

Ok, I had to stop the gloom thoughts. To lighten my mood I started the conversation again.

"You know what, for some reason I absolutely cannot wait to try all the different outfits again,"  
I was grinning like a fool now.

"You kidding, thank God that your new baby is so fast, otherwise I would run home with all my bags," she shot back, "oh, and don't forget I'm playing a Bella Barbie tonight, I cannot wait how that color will come out on you," she was all excited now.

Did I mention that Leah dragged me to a beauty store? No? Well she said is was her way or no way and to trust her, so I did. She bought a beautiful hair dye. It was close to my natural mahogany, only richer and with a bit more red in it. She also got a professional kit for highlights and lowlights  
I guess you would call them. She got me a beautiful honey blond, deep red, chocolate brown and black. On top of that she got a shit load of kitchen foil. What for I had no idea.

"Trust me Bella, " she tried to reassure me, "I might be a furball sometimes but I'm a girl first of all. Don't worry, when I'm finish with you, you will beg me to do it again soon," she said with a twinkle in her eye. I only nodded felling skeptical but agreed anyway.

We got home a little after five in the afternoon.

"Hey Leah, do you mind coming with me to get some groceries? I need to fix Charlie some dinner."

"Sure, make it an extra for a werewolf girl," she winked at me.

"Sure, sure," I replied with a chuckle and shook my head. Some things will never change. Mention the f word and any werewolf is a puppy.

I got all my shopping done. The lady at the cash register was having an eye popping moment when she saw the amount of food piled in my cart. I just gave her a sheepish smile, shrugged and payed.

We still had our other precious cargo inside the car so Leah had to keep most of the groceries in between her legs.

Unpacking would take a several trips, that was for sure.

We took the food shopping first when we arrived back home. We really looked like a bag ladies.

Leah and I were giggling like a mad things till she stopped dead in her tracks. When I looked up it was only Jacob, Quil and Embry standing on the front porch with their jaws dropped. I immediately snickered at the sight.

Yeah, they didn't see that one coming. They looked like me in the morning when I opened the door for Leah.

I began to walk when I noticed Leah still motionless and staring ahead. I followed her trail of sight. _No freaking way!_ Embry Call. I knew enough of the Quileute legends to recognize that look. Embry was sporting the same expression. I cleared my throat.

"Oh yeah, right, I'm coming Bella," when she finally looked at me she blushed.

"Yeah, right, exactly," _you are so going to spill later,_ I thought, "hey guys, what do we owe the pleasure?" I asked them, still enjoying their expressions.

"Hi Bells, that is surely a surprise," Jake said. I wonder what he meant. Was it me and Leah being in close vicinity giggling or the imprint or maybe both? "Oh, let me take those. Guys!" he shouted in the direction of the other two Quileutes.

"No, it's ok, I got that, but there is a lot more in the car. Please be a star and get them for us,"  
I asked. I silently hoped he would be the one carrying my lingerie bags. Most of them were mine.  
I didn't even try to silence my inner bitch this time.

I was right it took a several trips to the car to retrieve the shopping.

"Jeez girl, how many more bags can you pack in that car? Charlie will have to buy another house to fit all that stuff," Quil huffed.

"Don't be so melodramatic, girls have their needs," I rolled my eyes and high fived Leah.

"Yeah, definitely, especially those," Jake tossed one of Victoria's Secret bag at me and winked.  
I blushed a deep red and felt very hot all of a sudden. _Does this man knows what he do to me?_

Thanks to my gut feeling I got enough groceries to prepare a dinner fit for the pack of wolves. Thankfully it only took a half the time to prepare it. I think that Aro earned a kiss thank you from me too.

Charlie came home soon after I started and sat with the boys in the living room. Leah and I were busy in the kitchen. Between the two of us we made a Thai style red beef curry with egg fried rice, my specialty rainbow pasta salad with a roast turkey and a hot chocolate fondue dessert.

While we ate Charlie, Jake and Quil were chatting about sports and fishing, but Embry was busy looking at Leah. She could not get enough of him either.

I noticed Jacob steeling glances at me now and again. I could swear that he had the same look in his eyes. Could he really?

_No, don't kid yourself Bella Swan. You are not that lucky, but still that look... _

After the meal Charlie excused himself and went to the living room to watch the telly. I made a mental note to get him a new one. The old 21" piece of junk could easily retire now.

"Ok boys, out. Bella, you and I have a lot of work to do," Leah started.

"What, no you stole her for whole day. You have no idea how what a scare you gave me when  
I didn't see her car in the driveway. Thank God Seth has told me about you visit," Jake was whining like a hurt puppy.

"Down boy, you will have her soon enough, now shoo," and she shoved them out the door, "mission accomplished," she said with a sheepish grin after she closed the door.

I must admit I felt a little sad that Jake was gone. Like something was instantly missing but I could not put my finger on it.

"Dad do you think that Leah could stay overnight for a slumber party?" I asked Charlie.

"Sure kid, no problem. Have fun girls. Don't be too loud, your old man have to have some rest," he answered.

"Thanks."

After that we took our purchases upstairs. I also got something little for Charlie, just few shirts and tees and deposited it in his bedroom.

"Hey you mind if I quickly check in with the pack?"

"No go ahead," I said and she leaped out the window. After five minutes and few howls she was back wit a sly grin on her face. I just narrowed my eyes at her, she just shrugged her shoulders and laughed at me.

After that Leah begun her assault on my poor body.

"Hey, you won't regret a thing, trust me," she winked.

She had to apply three sets of the hair colorant with my hair being so long and thick. While that developed she's done my manicure and pedicure. Then she made me look like a mud monster with a kaolin warming mask. I must admit that this stuff was great. When it was the time for rinsing my hair she would not let me look in the mirror.

"Not yet, I'm not done here," was all she said.

After drying she begun to work on adding the streaks of color to my hair. Now I knew what the foil was for.

Then after a final shampooing she put a special hair mask, wrapped my hair with a cling film an  
a towel. She said that after half an hour I could take a shower and rinse this stuff off.

In the mean time we reorganized my closet. I could not bear to throw away my old clothes so  
I decided to donate them to the charity instead.

When the time came I made my way to the bathroom and took a long shower. I rinsed my hair then too. I turned off the water when it became cool. I towel dried my body and hair. I ran the comb through my long locks to get rid of the knots. I could not see anything yet with them wet.

"I thought you drowned in there," Leah joked.

"Ha, ha, very funny. Care to take care of it," and I handed her a blow dryer. Soon she was all finished.

"Are you ready?" Leah had the anticipation written all over her face when she spoke to me.

"As ready as I ever will be," I took a deep breath and she spoon me towards my floor length mirror. I gasped when I saw my reflection. Leah wasn't kidding. With her skill she should be a professional hair stylist. My hair looked so natural with all the colors in it. Only the smell of dye gave it away.

I could not wait for Jake to see a new me. Well he will have his chance at the bonfire tomorrow.

"Ok, now I wanna know everything," I said with a sly grin.

* * *

**A/N So what do you think? Please leave me a review.**

**So I thought I would give Bella some girl time. I think that Leah is a perfect person for that. They share so much together and I don't like when she is a chief villain bitch hating everyone.**

**And then the imprinting. Well in my book you have to be free to imprint and Leah just decided to let go of the past and Sam therefore she was free to imprint and be imprinted upon. Yep, it's a double imprint.**

**Well in Bella's case she has not a clue that Jake imprinted on her. She is a human so the filing is a bit weaker than Embry's and Leah's. Also she is still pinning for Eddie at the moment. On the other hand she is loving Jake all this time and there is no sudden change of felling, only deepening of them. The pull is stronger every day. So the bond is not weaker by any means. It's just different. **

**Remember, Jake want's her to love him for him not the imprint.**

**Ok, so stop with that freakishly long a/n.**

**By the way, that rainbow salad is really delicious. If anyone wants a recipe I'm more than happy to give one, *winks***


	7. The bigger, better part of me

**Hey. This chapter will be a little bit of both Jake and Bella POV. Ok, so on with the story.**

**I do not own Twilight and never will.**

* * *

_Jake POV_

It was the greatest day in my life so far. We were all gathered at my house after Bella turned up with her new buy. I must admit I was impressed with her. Not in a million years I would have thought that she would let me drive it. Fuck it, I thought I would have never get so lucky.

But that was nothing. The way she looked at me in that car before we made our way back. Oh boy,  
I nearly lost it right then and there. The constant hard on I had whenever Bella was near was painful. I kept telling myself over and over, all for those who wait.

The drive was something else entirely. To say, that I could not wait to get straight to the privacy of the bathroom when we got back to mine, would be an understatement. The tent was big enough for the pack to notice and tease me about it later.

She was so sexy...

Well of course I would rather have my Bells to take care of me but I had to wait none the less, I kept telling myself that. I was very patient in my waiting game.

Then she snuggled up to me while we were watching the film. The way she fit in my arm was like she was carved out of my body.

I took a full advantage of her sleeping state and hugged her closer to me. I could not help my wandering fingers, I had to run them through her silky hair. Something I wanted to do for a long time. I would kiss the top of her head now and again.

She didn't even wake up for the ride home so I had to drive and then carry her back home. Charlie wasn't even surprised at seeing his daughter in my arms, fast asleep.

"Is that all right Chief if I return that Sleeping Beauty back to her chamber," I whispered jokingly.

"Ha, good one Jake, but where is the beast?" he answered and patted me on my back. _If you only_ _knew_, I chuckled mentally.

"Did you kids had fun?" he started again, though I might be older than Bella, I was always a 'kid' to Charlie and I didn't mind, he was like a second father to me, "I'm not surprised that she passed out on you. The ride to Seattle and all the excitement worn her out."

"Yep, she even let me drive this baby," I answered with a silly grin. Charlie just looked at me, his eyes had a look that said: 'good for you kid.'

I slowly made my way upstairs. I tried my best not to jostle her. Bella only stirred slightly in my arms and moaned quietly. I knew she was talking in her sleep. I carefully opened the door to her bedroom and shifted Bella in my arms so I could move the covers back. I laid her down gently and put the blankets around her.

I only took her snickers and socks off. I knew she hated to sleep with her socks on. I knew that was about all I could get away with for now. Bella would skin me alive if I would undress her any more. Yeah, I wanted to live a bit longer, to maybe see her undressing for me, lying under me naked...

_Shut it you moron! She is still hurting. Get your horny ass out of here._ I was screaming at myself mentally, again.

I was about to leave her when Bella grabbed my hand and started talking to me.

"No, don't go Jake. My Jacob," she mumbled. I though she's woken up but she hasn't. She was dreaming and I was there with her.

I kneeled on the floor beside her bed and tucked a stray hair behind her ear. While I caressed her cheek she leaned into my touch unconsciously. It made me smile and gave me a hope.

"Sleep well my Bella. That's right, I'm yours and nothing will ever change it. I love you," it felt wonderful to be saying those three words to her out loud, though she would not hear them. Not yet, she was not ready for that.

I sweetly kissed her forehead and I could swear that a content smile was playing on her face. With that I left her bedroom and said 'good night' to Charlie.

I run a little while as a human until I reached the trees behind Bella's house. I quickly stripped and phased. I was met with Paul and Jared who were due to patrol Swan's house and Forks area.

I was communicating my orders for tonight, until a particular mental image was projected at me, involuntary I'm sure, by Paul. Werewolf my ass but I had a sudden old Bella moment and forgot my footing as I tripped over a fallen log. I was laughing so hard that I was rolling on the forest floor like a puppy who just got its treat.

I managed to eventually calm down enough to get up and speak.

I_'m sorry man, I could not help it. Your faces were priceless,_ I was still laughing which sounded like a cough-bark in my wolf form.

_Yeah tell me about it mighty Alpha, you were close to green yourself,_ Paul said to me with amusement.

_Well, I would call it blue. If someone will ever die from a constant blue balls it will be Jake,_ Jared, always a smart-ass.

_But I give you that, you picked a hell of a chick. I used to hate her but I'm glad she runs with us_ _now. At least we have the big Vamp mafia out of out heads,_ Paul again.

_Yep. Ok guys. I'm heading home to get some sleep. Colin and Brady will let you off at four in the morning. Seth and Leah are covering La Push, then Embry and Quil will let them off. Sam is watching over Blackwood's house. The twins Jack and Ian are about to phase. So that's all. See you guys later. _

When I finished talking I was nearly at my doorstep. I quickly phased and just jumped through my window into my room. I passed out immediately dreaming about my Queen.

The next morning I dragged myself out of bed at six o'clock. I hopped in the shower and went to relieve Sam. I wanted to keep an eye at the boys. At sixteen that would make them the youngest werewolves and I didn't want Jack and Ian to be alone and freak out more than necessary.

I don't know what time it was but it had to be a late morning when very concerned voices of Brady and Collin reached my mind.

_What's up guys?_ they were a little younger than me, both nineteen, but were fairly experienced. I could trust them with Bella.

I could sense their discomfort.

_What happened? Spill,_ I commanded them.

_Well, Leah went to visit Bella and we didn't notice it at first. We were at the outer perimeter. When_ _we rounded Bella's house again Collin saw them getting into Bella's new truck and we run straight_ _here,_ Brady recalled the events.

_What? Fuck, this isn't happening,_ Leah hated Bella and for all I knew she was hauling her over the coals somewhere. They took the car which meant no way of following them. I could only wait. Few minutes later I could feel Seth phasing.

Ok, maybe I was a little melodramatic but given Leah's record everything was possible.

_Err, boss, I have something to tell you,_ he started.

_I already know, I know._

Eventually I took Embry and Quil to patrol near Bella's house. Well they were patrolling, I was sulking like a lost puppy.

Finally later in the afternoon I could hear a soft purr of Bella's new truck.

I told my friends to phase and we walked slowly to the front porch of the house. We were just in time as the girls were getting out of the car, their hand full of shopping, giggling and joking.

Wait a minute, they were giggling?

Leah was giggling.

I bet that my expression was mirroring the one of Quil and Embry.

Leah stopped dead in her tracks. I followed her gaze. Uh, Embry man, you got it bad. Though poor boy had a crush on her even before phasing. Bella snorted at our faces no doubt and was sporting an amused smirk. She knew the legends enough to know what has just happened. I wondered if she knew that I was looking at her the same way.

"Oh yeah, right, I'm coming Bella," Leah blushed and followed Bella into the house.

"Yeah, right, exactly," my angel said, "hey guys, what do we owe the pleasure?" she asked us, still enjoying our expressions.

"Hi Bells, that is surely a surprise," I said. I didn't know which surprised me more. I went with Leah and Bella as best friends. "Oh, let me take those. Guys!" I shouted in the direction of Embry and Quil.

"No, it's ok, I got that, but there is a lot more in the car. Please be a star and get them for us,"  
she batted her eyelashes at me when she asked. Wait was Bella really flirting with me?

I went to the car to get the shopping. How many freaking bags does two girls need. Wait what was that? Holy shit. Bella just bought some lingerie. I hope it was for me though. I had to rearrange myself before I showed my face in the house though.

"Jeez girl, how many more bags can you pack in that car? Charlie will have to buy another house to fit all that stuff," Quil huffed.

"Don't be so melodramatic, girls have their needs," Bells rolled her eyes and high fived Leah. Ok who are you and what have you done with a pack resident bitch?

"Yeah, definitely, especially those," I tossed one of Victoria's Secret bag at my Queen and winked.  
She blushed a deep red and I could hear her heart beat kick up a few notches. Ah so I affected her to. Good. I will have to do it more often then.

Then Bella ordered us to sit in the living room where we were soon joined by Charlie. Leah and her made a divine meal and we were literally inhaling it when she served it.

I was chatting with Charlie and Quil about one of the recent games, but I was doing it for show.  
I kept looking at Bella without being to obvious but she caught me few times. _If you only knew_ _Bells. You will, soon..._

After the meal Charlie retired in front of the telly again.

"Ok boys, out. Bella, you and I have a lot of work to do," Leah started.

"What, no you stole her away for whole day. You have no idea how what a scare you gave me when I didn't see her car in the driveway. Thank God Seth has told me about your visit," I know, I was whining like a hurt puppy. I gave Leah a pointed look. Luckily Bella didn't notice.

"Down boy, you will have her soon enough, now shoo," and she shoved us out the door, _"mission_ _accomplished,"_ I could still hear her from behind the closed door.

I felt immediately empty leaving Bella behind. We went into the forest again and phased. Few minutes later I spotted Leah jumping out of Bella's window. We all turned to give her some privacy and soon we were joined by her mind.

_So, care to explained yourself?_ I was very annoyed and relieved at the same time.

_Jeez, take a chill pill or something. Ok enjoy,_ and she replayed some of the events of the day including glimpses of Victoria's Secret changing room.

_Damn, she's hot,_ was Quil. I swear if that boy wont let go I will neuter him myself.

_Hey, I was just admiring, no harm done._

_I'm telling you Jake, she might not know it yet but she is falling for you hard and fast. You didn't_ _smell the car every time your name was mentioned and she replayed that memory. Damn I nearly jumped her myself, _I so didn't need that mental image but I could smell her sweet scent.

_Oh great, now we will have to endure even more Bella fantasies. Seriously I might go and ask her_ _myself to just get layed with you already_, Quil was whining. I didn't blame him at all. I was suffering from a constant sexual frustration and the pack was in it too.

_Sorry, _I said.

_Later,_ she said to Embry. The intensity of their gaze was unbelievable. I was glad for Leah, she deserved to be happy.

_Thanks._

_No problem, any time._

_Ok, you can go back to La Push, I will be on Bella duty tonight,_ with that she darted back towards my Bells.

* * *

_Bella POV._

Next few days I spent much the same. The difference was that I wasn't seeing much of Jake and I didn't like it. To be honest I've only seen a glimpse of his brown fur when he was patrolling. That was all. We talked on the phone instead.

I spend all the time with Leah getting to know each other better. We realized that behind the walls we both built around ourselves were completely different, better persons.

I liked a new me. I wasn't all that different but I saw everything in a new perspective and learned from the past mistakes. I especially liked my new found confidence and fighting off my stupid phobias. I definitely started to take some people off the pedestals they were on.

It was Friday today and Leah was excited about the bonfire. It was a traditional bonfire to greet the summer. It was like a club on the beach.

Leah already bribed my dad so I was staying at the Clearwater's for all weekend. Charlie would be away with Billy for a long fishing trip anyway. Well that was a cover story anyway.

Leah would be with Embry and I would be at Jake's. I must admit that the thought of it was sending fire into my lower body, but I was not that kind of girl to go straight for sex when I wasn't sure where I was yet with my feelings. I knew that Jacob would respect that.

We were in my room packing for the weekend. The warm summer breeze was coming through the open window. I could smell the forest. It reminded me of Jake.

"You know I cannot believe how stupid I used to be," I started, when Leah interrupted.

"Yeah, me neither," she stuck her tongue at me. I rolled my eyes.

"Whatever. Like I was saying. All that time I thought that going shopping equaled shoving splinters under my nails. I had so much fun doing it," I sighed in contentment, "we have to go again soon."

"I told you. You don't have to turn fashionista or shopaholic over night now, but shopping could be fun," Leah answered me.

"Yeah. I also realized that I never cared about my appearance before. Well I know I am plain and average but that doesn't mean I have to look like that."

"Silly Bella, you are far from plain," I rolled my eyes yet again, "say what you want. I could list many who think you are hot, one in particular," she wiggled her eyebrows at me. My heart skipped a bit. Would it be Jake?

"Erm, who?" I tried to sound indifferent but failed miserably.

"Oh no, you won't get it so easily my dear. So spill. I know that your better self has something to do with a certain werewolf," Leah quirked her eyebrow at me and I blushed.

"Ok. You remember how I was before," she only nodded. She saw my zombie stage in others minds, "Jake was always there for me. He was always there..." I trailed off.

I went back to La Push when I was about four and Jake was six. I remembered I was so jealous of him and the boys riding the bicycles that I wanted to learn too.

I took Jake's bike when nobody was watching and in true Bella fashion I crashed it into my future truck. With bloody elbow and both knees I ran to the First Beach ashamed crying my eyes out.

Jake of course found me there. He took me home and washed my wounds.

I remember Sarah, his mom watching us. She smiled at me and Jake. When I told Jacob what happened he kissed my forehead and swore on his honor to teach me how to ride a bicycle. True enough by the evening I could do it.

That was my first memory of him. All the others were equally warm.

"Earth to Bella," I realized that Leah was waving her hand in front of my face, "I've been talking to you for the past three minutes," she sounded a bit annoyed.

"Sorry I spaced out a bit. I was remembering me summers here with Jake," I explained myself when I looked into Leah's expectant face. "All right. It's Jacob. It's all for him. No It's all for me but he is the main reason why I want to change for the better," I was resembling a beetroot twin sister now.

"Please continue," she said.

"You won't let it go, will you?" I tried.

"Nope," Leah popped the 'p'.

"You know he is like a sunshine on my darkest day. I would have died without him. All that time I thought he was my best friend. But I don't even know when my feeling for him began to change.

"First I didn't realized that, but when I was away from him I felt empty and cold. I'm falling Leah, I'm falling in love with my best friend and there is nothing there that could stop it." I covered my face with my hands.

"Why would you want to stop it?" she asked surprised.

"Because I had my heart ripped out of me once. I would surely die the second time. What if Jake imprints? There would be nobody to pick the pieces up after that," I started shaking and seconds later I was crying in Leah's arms.

"Shh, everything will be all right. That man is head over heals for you. He loves you more that you know but he is waiting for you. Jacob would never push you. Your happiness is what counts for him even if it means that he is miserable," Leah was explaining it to me. I immediately stiffened. All the pieces of the puzzle were coming closer together forming a picture in my mind.

The look of a total love and devotion every time he looked at me.

The pull I was feeling all the time.

The growing love that was burning now in my heart for Jake.

The physical pain when I was away from him, even though he was only in La Push.

The way he always seemed to know what I needed.

The way he always was making me happy.

How could I be so blind not to notice? Oh yeah, I was Edward blind.

I started to hyperventilate now. Could I really be that lucky? But why on earth he didn't tell me?

I could feel a sting on my cheek.

"Huh?" I turned to look at Leah after she slapped me.

"Fuck, you've got me scared. I though you were loosing it or something. Sorry for the slap, nothing was working," she said it all on one breath.

"Leah tell me something and God help me if you'll lie to me. Did Jake imprinted on me?" she didn't say nothing but her face said it all. Stupid alpha orders. I cried for a second time today, only now they were tears of joy. Leah wanted to comfort me again but I stopped her.

"No I'm fine, really. I'm happy. I only wish he have told me about it," I started.

"Believe me, he had his reasons," Leah answered me.

"Yeah and sure as hell he will spill them all tonight," I laughed and we begun to get ready for tonight.

Three hours later and my hair was nicely curled and put up into a cute but messy updo. I had a very minimal, natural looking make up which made my face look like it was glowing. Or maybe it was love. Anyway, I looked positively pretty.

Leah helped me choose an outfit. In the end I decided to wear midnight blue skinny jeans and a gray v-neck top with a floral print. It even had some sequins on it. The top was a loose fit so one side was always slipping down my shoulder. It was really annoying. Every time I got it up it would slip right down revealing my black lace bra strap.

"Stop it!" Leah screeched.

"Stop what?" I answered her in the same manner.

"Leave your top alone. It looks sexy that way," she just said.

"Sexy huh, and how do you know?" I was curious.

"Trust me, I was in boys' minds enough to know what they like. Show them a little bit of flesh but always not enough and they go bonkers," she wiggled her eyebrows at me.

She was wearing very carefully ripped jeans that hugged her figure perfectly. Then she threw a tight white tank top and a blue checked shirt which she tied around her waist. It all hitched a little showing a bit of her belly and all the colors complimented her russet skin. We both topped our outfits with a fancy flip flops. They would be coming off anyway since we were going to the beach. I had a little blazer with me just in case. I still got cold though the additional venom in my veins made the weather more bearable for me.

"Ok, whatever," but then she must have known what she was talking about. She was right in their heads after all.

"All right, let's go, we don't want to be late. Do you mind getting the drinks while I get the food?"

"Sure, no problem Bella," with that we descended the stairs.

Leah grabbed two trays of cans of soda and one of beers. Thank heavens for a werewolf super strength she could carry it. I got cooler full of pre-marinaded steaks in one hand and burgers in other. I knew how much those boys could eat and drink. I wanted to help a bit and surprise Sam who would be in charge of the BBQ as always.

On the way to First Beach the butterflies in my stomach were having a war against my insides.

I knew I wasn't quite ready to jump into anything serious with Jake yet but I was so happy that in the end it would be just me and him forever.

It was only six in the evening and the bonfire was due to start at eight but Leah and I wanted to help beforehand. Plus we both wanted to see a certain werewolves of our interest. I could tell that Leah had the problems with her own butterflies.

"So how does it feel to be free again?" I asked her when we entered La Push.

"It's the best feeling. Though I still love Sam, a part of me will always belong to him and no imprinting or any hocus pocus can ever erase that, I don't feel bitter that a part of him will forever belong to Emily. I know that a part of him still holds me dear in his heart.

"He can finally forgive himself that he hurt me, however unintentional that was. We can be true friends and I have my cousin back too," her eyes were full of unshed tears.

"Oh Leah, I'm so happy for you. Yeah, I can say the same. I do feel free. So stop now, you will ruin your make up. I thought that werewolves suppose to be tough," I teased her and she stuck her tongue at me again.

When we got there I parked on the beach near Jake's Rabbit. I wanted to sound the horn but Leah was way quicker and whistled very loud.

"Bloody hell, I need my ear drums!" I shouted at her and she just shrugged her shoulders.

On the cue Jake, Embry, Quil and Seth came towards us. Did I say that they were wearing shirts for once and looking yummy? Jacob definitely was. I licked my lips at the sight before me.

Jake stopped in front of me and his eyes were raking over my body, though he tried to be discreet about it. I decided to put a new me into work.

"Like what you see Mr Black?" I asked coyly and put my hand on my hip. Jake swallowed audibly.

"Yes, as a matter of fact I do," he recovered quickly.

The other boys took the contents of the trunk to the beach. Leah was walking hand in hand with Embry. That left me alone with Jake.

I was staring into his eyes and I swear I could see straight into his soul. And it was a beautiful sight. The amount of love was overwhelming. I knew he was always in love with me but the imprinting just made it final. It made him mine. I knew my broken heart was safe with him.

I took few steps to close the distance between us and took his hand in mine. I put it where my heart is.

"I know everything. This is yours if you still have me. Sorry that I have been slow, I guess I didn't want to see the obvious, will you forgive me?" I asked Jacob.

"Oh Bells..." he whispered and did something I secretly wanted for a long time now.

He kissed me with so much passion and love that my knees buckled under me but his strong arms were around me. He held me close and I wrapped my legs around his waist. I snaked one of my arms around his neck and fisted my hand in his hair. The other was exploring his back. His hands were leaving a trail of fire all over my body.

Jake's lips were so soft and sweet. He just tasted like home. I gave into what my body and soul wanted and traced his bottom lip with my tongue. I could hear his breath hitch and his heart picked up a pace. He granted me the access and soon our tongues were engaged into a dance of love, lust and want. His strong arms were holding me so close that at that moment I felt like a part of him.

After few minutes we had to brake for air. Jake was kissing his way my jaw down to my neck and up to my ear. A moan escaped my lips at the sensation. I've never been kissed like that before. Whoa, comparing it to Edward it was like I've never been kissed at all.

"I love you Jake," I whispered into his ear.

"You have no idea ho happy you just made me Bells. I love you so damn much," he cupped my face in both of his hands and we rested our foreheads together. I could stay like that forever.

"Ok, let's go. As much as I don't want to move from that spot, they will wonder where we are," Jake broke the silence first.

"Sure sure, but before we go can I ask you one question?" I started.

"Of course, you can ask me anything," he said and took my hand in his.

"Why didn't you tell about imprinting? You know I'm not exactly a pro at guessing fast," I was so curious now.

"You know I love you. Hell, I was in love with you since I was ten I think. I didn't tell you about the imprint because I wanted you to fall in love with me. Me. I didn't want you to feel obligated to love me because of some sort of werewolf mojo. I hope you can forgive me," he finished.

"Oh Jake, what have I done to deserve a man like you?" I threw myself at him and Jacob spun me around in a bear hug.

I knew that I wasn't out in the clear yet. My feelings for Edward didn't just disappear. Hell, I knew that a part of me will always be his and I hated it.

What I knew that the bigger and better part of me would always belong to my Jacob. If I think of it, it always did.

* * *

**A/N**

**So what do you think?**

**So from now on the romance will progress the way it should have been.**

**I know that I've been slacking on all the other stories. I did not abandon them. This one just speaks to me the loudest, that's all. So I'm digging it while it's hot, lol.**

**As to the Blackwood twins I thought that I will give some anonymous wolves their names. In BD Stephenie said there was 17 with Jake.**

**I have some surprises on the way, I hope you will like them.**

**So now give me some love.**


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